2023 FINAL KEEPER LISTING

Keepers are final and we are less than 6 days away from the draft. 9 Teams elected to keep 4 players while The Skoal Bandits are going all-in. Craig will get 5 of the first 6 players drafted this year, so anyone with dreams of drafting Bijan Robinson better get that thought of their head. At first look, there looks to be 4 strong rosters heading into the draft. Here is the pre-draft rankings as of today:

1. Stick Rock - Last year’s champ is this year’s pre-draft leader, returning Joe Burrow, Austin Ekeler, Justin Jefferson an Amon St. Brown. The average ADP of these 4 keepers is 9.75. That means Rocky is going into the season with the equivalent of 4 1st round picks on his roster.

2. Wrath of Kahn – Next up is our pal Jimmy. Last year’s 6th place finish is a distant memory as Wrath starts out with the Justins (Fields and Herbert) at QB with WR Tyreek Hill and newly acquired all-world TE Travis Kelce. Average ADP:15.75

3. Milford Football Team – How this team finished in 7th place last year is a mystery to me. Maybe CJ got cocky after his early success in 2021 and 2022. Josh Allen, CMC, Garrett Wilson and Mark Andrews return from the 2022 roster. Average ADP: 17.75

4. Springfield Flanders – Another head scratching disappointment from last year. Glenn had 3 WRs finish in the Top 10 and finished in 8th place. JaMarr Chase, Stephon Diggs and AJ Brown will be rejoined with 3rd year RB Najee Harris. Average ADP: 18

5. Mel Kiper BA – Perennial winner to perennial loser, Pete is hoping to reverse his fortunes in 2023. After winning the league his first 2 years, this team has been at the bottom of the standings due to a lot of bad injury luck. Lamar Jackson, Derrick Henry, CeeDee Lamb and Jaylen Waddle are a nice start to putting together a competitive roster. Average ADP: 19.75

6. ’69 Olds – Technically, Ray is in a tie with Pete with an average ADP of 19.75, but I am knocking him down 1 spot for keeping Alexander Mattison, a player currently being drafted in the 7th round. Patrick Mahomes, Jalen Hurts, and Cooper Kupp will join Mattison.

7. Black Ghostbusters – Nothing like losing a keeper less than 24 hours after the deadline. Jonathan Taylor will miss the first 4 games on the PUP list. Trevor Lawrence, Tony Pollard, and Davante Adams are the remaining keepers. Average ADP: 24

8. Peeping Tomlins – Not to be outdone by Ray, Jared has his own questionable move keeping Kenneth Walker III, a player currently going in the 6th round in 2 QB leagues. Nick Chubb, Joe Mixon and Devonta Smith round out the keeper selections. Average ADP: 33.5

9. Dark Helmet – Yikes. Dan is doubling down on last year’s QB shit show by bringing back Aaron Rodgers and Tua Tagovailoa-supercalifragilistic back for another season. Tua is just one hit away from being dumber than Rocky and the Jets O-Line can’t block. Saquon Barkley and Josh Jacobs will need to carry this team if the QBs don’t hold up. Average ADP: 34.5

10. Skoal Bandits – Craig kept nobody this year. And having nobody will still out-perform the production he got from Matt Stafford, George Kittle, Kyler Murray and Cam Akers last year. ADP Average 0.0

That’s it for now. Remember, our Draft is on Monday, September 4th at 8:15 PM. Start mocking those drafts everybody!